Day 7 in Medjugorje: Easter Surrender on Crucifix Mountain; Dialogue with Mary; and a Fat Lasagna.

This is part of an ongoing story; if you are just joining the journey, you may want to start at the beginning. 


Day 7 – Medjugorje.  Easter Sunday

After each breakfast our group is reciting the “Novena to the Divine Mercy,” which we started in Italy.  I found this definition of novena prayers on a global Catholic network site: “A novena is a nine-day period of private or public prayer to obtain special graces, to implore special favors, or to make special petitions. (Novena is derived from the Latin "novem", meaning nine.) As the definition suggests, the novena has always had more of a sense of urgency and neediness.”  I’m not so sure that, for example, “the souls of those who separate themselves from the church” (day five of the novena prayer) really need saving – what if they found a better spiritual path for them? I opt to give myself a break from the Catholic dogma and hike up Crucifix Mountain by myself.  I have a short amount of time before Easter mass, but I am really looking forward to being alone and in silence on the mountain.

The walk up to Crucifix Mountain through the little streets of Medjugorje is enchanting.  Trees are blooming with pink flowers, chickens are running free in people’s yards, daffodils erupt in clusters on the hillside.  The homes are older here and they kind of make me feel like I’m in a fairytale village. I feel so comfortable that it feels like I’ve been here for ages.  My time in Italy already feels like it was months ago.

Finally I arrive at the base of the mountain.  It’s called Crucifix or Cross Mountain because in 1934 local parishioners constructed a huge concrete white cross (8.56 meters) on the top of the mountain. On the cross it is inscribed: “To Jesus Christ, Redeemer of the human race, as a sign of their faith, love and hope, in remembrance of the 1900 years since the death of Jesus”. It’s amazing that they were able to bring it up to the top, considering how steep and rocky the climb is.

Hiking up Crucifix Mountain is a bit like hiking up erratic, unstable, steep stairs. It is nonetheless amazing.  The weather is perfect, warm sun with a cool breeze, and I feel like I have wings to fly up the mountain.  Somehow, the sound of the Croatian Easter mass (quite a distance below in the valley) carries up the mountain, loud and clear (which no one reported happening at any other time during our trip).  They also have crosses and bronze reliefs periodically so that pilgrims can do the stations of the cross as they ascend and descend. It feels like a magical hike as I stop at each station of the cross to pray and catch my breath.

I don’t make it quite all the way up to the big white cross because I hear the bells in the church below – the end of the Croatian mass and the start of another mass in yet another language.  I promised my parents I would meet them for the English language mass later, so I figure I’d better hurry.  On the way down, I stop at some of the Stations of the Cross, meditate briefly and offer gratitude.  I am full of the kind of compassion I associate with Jesus.  As I’ve mentioned, Easter is always special to me.  I’ve also kept a very intimate experience of Jesus; I feel the Christ energy powerfully and often, as if it just weaves itself into my daily life.  As a child growing up, I had many mystical experiences of “visitations” of Jesus.  So today, as I do on so many Easters, I weep.  It is the same quality of emotion I always have when I am overwhelmed by the vast compassion that is Christ. 

In this state of loving joy, I pray again that all my life be surrendered to the divine; every facet, including all my personal will, my conscious, subconscious, unconscious.  I want none for myself.  I feel this surrender, all the way through my body. I weep some more, loving, cleansing tears. I am even more moved when I remember that this is the completion of the Padre Pio’s “three day penance” for me. What a beautiful ending.

At the base of the mountain, I start heading home feeling extraordinary peace and gratitude.  Suddenly, I feel a very clear “thwack,” as if some invisible hand came forth and struck me, gently, on the back.  I hear a voice say, “You KNOW what you need to do!”  This is where I confess that since my parents first started visiting Medjugorje, I’ve been having visions of a being and energy I associate with Mary.  In these visions, she has been giving me instructions of my “next assignment,” so to speak.  I haven’t really clearly understood it until now – and even now I’m not sure I do.  To sum up hours of meditating on this and pages of writing, her message to me is basically this – create a support structure for anyone to find their own unique way to God/Awakening – whatever that may look like.  My understanding is that my assignment is to foster depth of sincerity and commitment, and to support all the ways that gateways to awakening can show up.  In today’s session with Mary, she explicitly conveys to me “they are ALL your children,” meaning that people from any tradition may benefit from extra support for their sincere spiritual journey. I had apparently previously misunderstood the messages, thinking that I would support people who had perhaps left or never had a rigorous religious tradition; today I understand that I need to extend support even for people who are active in any religion.

I walk into mass still deeply listening to this set of instructions and guidance. I have no interest in standing in the crowds, so I sit in silence outside by the rotunda and continue my meditation with Mary.  There are many more instructions, but the part that makes the most sense to share is simply this – when I “hear the call” to support someone or a group of people in their journey home to God, I can meditate and wait until the next steps forward are obvious. 

***

My folks have a few favorite restaurants in the area, and one of them is Alf’s, down the street from Apparition Hill. It’s named after the American 1980s television show about the muppet alien “Alf.”  The restaurant looks like a nice, clean, Eastern European restaurant – dark thick wooden tables and benches and European beer signs everywhere – except for  the little shrine to Alf in the back of the restaurant, complete with a stuffed Alf toy.  I am ravenous by the time mass is over, and so by the time we get to Alf’s I’m ready to order half the menu. The salad is fabulous, and it makes this rabbit happy, filled with lettuce, cabbage, cucumbers, green onions, tomatoes, olives and corn. I also indulge in spinach lasagna which had caramelized cheese on top, fresh bright spinach and ricotta in the middle, and a decadent béchamel sauce. It is a food memory I will treasure!

After lunch we tour the villages, and I enjoy the charm and peace. I’m surprised that my folks are in a hurry to get to mass – again. “Everyone goes to mass twice everyday in Medjugorje,” they explain.  Shrug.  I guess I’m along for the ride! 

This time I discover that they are serving communion on the gazebo, so I walk up and join others for communion.  I love communion in Medjugorje.  I actually feel lighter after I partake in this sacred moment of the service (I don’t have that experience during mass at home!). The evening masses here are multi-cultural, and I love all of the different languages.  I don’t necessarily understand when mass is over, though, because they go from mass right into prayers.  I’m happy in a state of bliss, meditating with Mary and Jesus, and I don’t notice the time – I have to rush back to the pension for dinner! 

It’s another wonderful Croatian dinner; beef patties that are mixed with vegetables and spices before pan frying and then steaming, potatoes and onions, and cabbage salad are just a few of the things that bring me instantly back to my childhood. My mother and I chatter across the table from each other in excitement about this connection to our roots; we vow to find recipes and duplicate this meal when we get back to the States.

***

After dinner, I stop by the front desk on the way upstairs and notice that someone has posted the latest message from Mary, as delivered by one of the visionaries, Mirjana, on April 2:

“Dear children; Today I bless you in a special way and I pray for you to return to the right way to my Son - your Saviour, your Redeemer – to Him who gave you eternal life. Reflect on everything human, on everything that does not permit you to set out after my Son – on transience, imperfection and limitation - and then think of my Son, of His Divine infiniteness. By your surrender and prayer ennoble your body and perfect your soul. Be ready, my children. Thank you. ”

When I read this, it actually resonates with me when I look past the Catholic clothing. To put it simply, what I feel from this is that we don’t have to get caught in the daily grind and the ego; recall what is infinite naturally and let all things in our lives follow that. My clients often hear me call awakening the great perspective shift, and I feel that this message speaks to that.  Of course, this is my filter.

I warned you I am a mystic. I’ve had visions in all kinds of different traditions – Christian, Sufi, Buddhist, Native American, Yoruban, Hindu, etc. – as I’ve mentioned, apparently my visioning capacity has an international translator built in.  I’ve even had friends see the same things I’m seeing in a moment, a simultaneous vision, kind of like the visionaries in Medjugorje.  Can I explain any of this? No. You can try to apply whatever explanation you like, but the most true statement is that I don’t know.  I long ago concluded that it’s less about the messages and where they come from and more about how we engage with them and carry them through our lives. 

I could waste my time asking if these messages are real and if it’s really St. Mary, but those questions are irrelevant to me. I believe these visionaries are seeing what they believe is Mary.  I believe that inevitably they are translating what they are hearing through their own Catholic filter, and that’s ok because there’s no way not to do that.  I translate my visions too, I can’t help it. I know that my mind inserts images, tone and may even make conclusions that are not true to the original vision or message.  I have a commitment to minimizing my mind’s incorrect translations, but at a certain point it’s almost impossible. I just try to claim my biases.

Inevitably I’m moved to try to understand why there’s a heavy Catholic flavor in Mary’s messages, like this one:

“If you pray, Satan cannot injure you even a little bit because you are God's children and He is watching over you. Pray and let the rosary always be in your hand as a sign to Satan that you belong to me.” ( From, February 25, 1988)

What arises for me (right or wrong, I’m no authority) is that it’s not just the visionaries’ filters and contexts.  I feel that the structure Mary is advocating is incredibly helpful for many of her “children.”  Many humans need structure, sometimes their very lives depend on it. As I’ve often said about people close to me who convert to fundamentalist religions, hey if it truly helps them, why would I want to take it away from them? The only hiccup for me is when they try to impose their way on everyone else.

Plus, Mary’s recommendations of daily mass, daily prayer, and fasting (regular themes in her messages) serve a purpose just as any spiritual practice does – they can evoke our devotion to and remembrance of the Divine.  Even for me, I occasionally find that doing these Christian prayers evokes the same peace I experienced praying as a child.  It’s quite lovely.  I also find that fasting regularly is helpful, perhaps not in the way my Catholic pilgrims think of it, but because it frees me from my habits, allowing me to be conscious about the God-In-Everything through food.  I can sign up for that!

Coming Thursday: Day 8 in Medjugorje: The Statue of the Risen Christ Is Oozing Fluid; Patrick and Nancy’s Castle; Sonya’s Meltdown.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights! Post a comment here or email Sonya@illuminatedwisdom.com.