Day 6 in Medjugorje: Apparition Hill; Another Wall of Catholic Dogma; Feeling Like a Sardine in Church

This is part of an ongoing story; if you are just joining the journey, you may want to start at the beginning.

Part 3: Medjugorje

Day 6 - Split to Medjugorje

After a relatively sleepless night on the ferry, we finally arrive in Croatia.  When we first exit the ferry I am struck by the brisk, morning sea air; refreshing after the stuffy and smoky ferry.  We quickly go through customs (zombie-like, I admit) and climb on another tour bus to travel from the ferry station in the city of Split across a part of Croatia, across the mountains into Bosnia. 

I love all mountain country. This land is very rocky, with lots of brush, and we drive through occasional forests. The architecture here is a mix of Eastern and Western European; it’s a meeting place of two worlds, and therefore has been the location of much conflict.  There’s still evidence of rebuilding and recovery after the war in some parts.  I later learn that they don’t really have a credit system for rebuilding; they rebuild when they have the cash, and stop midway if they run out, start again when the cash returns. Though it leaves buildings in various states of repair, it looks appealing given our housing credit crunch in the US.

This makes me all the more impressed with the brand new, brightly painted, flower-covered homes we see, especially on the edge of Medjugorje. They almost look like houses out of a fairy tale, but they are just a little too new and sparkling clean. I was actually surprised that it wasn’t more magical or majestic in appearance. Perhaps I was expecting something more after all the stories - but Medjugorje’s primary beauty is not necessarily in its scenery. 

Medjugorje has a population of around 4,000 people, and as our gigantic tour bus rumbles into town, I notice how sophisticated the shops along the main street have become.  Apparently, having visitations from Mary is big business; pilgrims spend good money.  Most of the shops on the strips are religious in nature, selling icons, rosaries, spiritual books and the like. The street is lightly peppered with service shops like internet cafes, pharmacies, and grocery stores.

As we pull into our pension on the main street (it’s family-run lodging that serves meals), I am just relieved to be in one place for five days. I love our little room – three single beds, a small bathroom, all white and clean and cozy. I can feel how the family who runs this hotel cares about the place and our experience here as pilgrims. I hope to relax, catch up on sleep, and most importantly, have some alone time, as free of Catholic dogma as possible.  The most valuable spiritual conduit for me is silence, and I have been missing that on this trip. 

Shortly after we arrive, we have our first meal in the pension.  I’m so happily surprised – it’s delicious!  Starting with a soothing vegetable soup, followed by a rich rice pilaf and roasted chicken and fresh green salad (I’m happy any time I get a good salad), the flavors remind me of my Russian grandmother’s cooking. I am thrilled to be here for five more meals – and breakfasts!  Yeah!

After lunch, Gus takes us to the center point of town, St. James Cathedral, to give us a Medjugorje orientation and some history.  Back in the 1930s, when Medjugorje had only 2000 residents in the whole area, they had a tiny church, just adequate for the local Catholic population.  The remains of the old church are locked behind a gate just across the street from St. James – it looks like it held 30 people!  Then they came up with a plan to build a new church – relatively massive, in fact, way too big for the surrounding parish, holding several hundred people.  We find it remarkable that they had some magical foresight to prepare for the Marian apparitions - 50 years later! - that would bring thousands of pilgrims to this little valley.  

Today, they need every bit of this spacious church and more; they have literally thousands of benches around the church - on either side of the church, and a giant gazebo in back surrounded by more benches – all to contain the overflow from mass.  I would soon discover that every single one of those benches would be filled to the brim for the Easter services.

The square around St. James has been developed with pilgrims in mind; there are water fountains on either side, an area for lighting candles, large and clean restrooms in a separate building (a luxury for pilgrims!), and a beautiful statue of Mary in a little garden area. It is well designed to support our physical needs – and apparently aesthetic needs as well!  Recently an artist created a giant egg that sits in front of the church; it’s beautifully painted with scenes of Medjugorje in all seasons. (Here’s one side of The Egg.)

During our tour, Gus doesn’t lose an opportunity to preach to us about Mary. In one of his sermons, Gus emphasizes again how the apparitions of Mary at Fatima - and the Pope’s subsequent decision to consecrate Russia to Mary - were the cause of the fall of communism (seven years after the consecration).  This time he adds that Gorbachev thanked the Pope for consecrating Russia to Mary, saying “Russia needs God.”  Hmmm…I am wondering if I need to do some research on this. 

Gus went on to say that Gorbachev is Russian Orthodox, but he hasn’t converted to Catholicism yet.  Excuse me?  The churches began as one and the same and retain some of the same foundational tenets.  An Orthodox baptism is recognized in the Catholic Church, and vice versa.  Saying Orthodox people would be better off as Catholics is an arrogant presumption.  Lutherans are bad, Pagans are going to hell (oh, did I forget to tell you about the prayers for the poor Pagans bound for hell? I find it amusing that I’ve met Pagans who are more respectful, loving, and generous than some of the pilgrims on this trip), and now even the Orthodox Christians need saving as well.  I leave his sermon fairly cranky. 

A post-trip note I will add here: When I got home I researched Pope John Paul II’s Consecration of Russia to Mary and the fall of communism seven years later.  This article from Wikipedia actually mentions that the Russian Orthodox Church wasn’t quite thrilled with the consecration; they were none to happy about the implication that they needed to convert to Catholicism. That makes me laugh!  Nowhere can I find an article where Gorbachev said “Russia needs God” to the Pope.  Here is a transcript of Gorbachev’s meeting with Pope John Paul II.  It seems pretty clear to me that he is pro-human values and religious freedom, not necessarily pro-Catholic. 

***

My folks are eager to partake of the beauty of Medjugorje as soon as possible, so we walk to the neighboring village to hike up Apparition Hill (locally known as Podbrdo).  It’s a very rocky mountain (the joke is that on the 7^th day God had all these rocks left over, so he dumped them in Croatia and Bosnia), and it’s the location of the first apparition of Mary. 

There are large bronze reliefs representing the joyful and sorrowful mysteries of the rosary placed periodically up the hill. Faithful pilgrims say the rosary as they ascend and descend.  The Orthodox Church has different prayers; I don’t know the different Catholic prayers very well, so I’m a bit uneasy about reciting it out loud with my parents. 

Frankly, I also feel uncomfortable with one part of the wording in particular: “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death…”  Perhaps for someone else, saying this evokes a sense of humility and surrender to Mary.  For me, I feel like I’m indulging the identity of a helpless sinner rather than embracing the power and omnipresence of the Divine.  I’m not able to get on board with that.  As a healer and spiritual life coach, I spend a lot of time helping people heal this story of worthlessness and the identity of being a sinner.  At least for some, it seems to get in the way of awakening, union with God.  I don’t mind the first half of the rosary, but apparently you can’t say just half, so I don’t say anything as we hike up Apparition Hill, and I let my parents do all the praying.  I keep my internal intention on the love and peace that Mary conveys. 

I enjoy Apparition Hill.  I love hiking and I’m ok about putting some spiritual intention behind a hike.  We arrive at the monument to Mary, the site of the first apparition, at the same exact time of her apparition on that particular day.  She arrives at 5:40pm every day.  She’s a very punctual saint.  As I stand and gaze at the statue, I stay open to anything I might sense or feel.  Suddenly I experience lightness, peace, radiance.  I feel an effortless glow as I descend the rocky hill. 

***

Each day we have one meal for which we have to forage ourselves. We have just enough time for a quick dinner at Columbo’s (one of my folks’ favorite restaurants) before Easter vigil mass.  We eat a simple meal, my mother and I each order an abundant Greek salad (with a side of fries – I can’t be all good).  Even though we arrive very early, by the time we get to the church, it’s standing room only on the inside, overflowing through the three sets of double doors.  The thousands of benches outside are packed as well.  We manage to find a bench and huddle together in the chilly spring wind.  We listen to prayers, and then later the Easter service, from the speakers set all around the church.

By the time the service is a little less than halfway over, we are freezing.  Apparently, we didn’t bring enough winter gear to sit through mass outside. My folks suggest that we try to huddle in the church doorway for warmth.  People are packed in so tightly, I feel like a sardine, and as a steady stream of people push their way in and out of the sanctuary, they press me onto the side of the wall or into my neighbor until I can barely breathe.  Between the Catholic dogma and these uncomfortable surroundings, I’m not very happy about spending a very non-holy Easter feeling like sausage filling getting stuffed into casing.

Easter is the most important holiday in the Orthodox Church, and the Easter Vigil is my favorite service.  My favorite moment is the deep darkness of the church when all the lights get turned off except for one candle in the altar (representing Christ and the resurrection).  Then that light gets spread to all of our candles until the church is luminous with candlelight.  This is symbolic for me of how we receive the light of God (which I translate to awakening).  I was looking forward to experiencing Catholic vigil in Medjugorje for the first time. I can’t see anything from where I’m standing, I don’t understand Croatian and don’t even know where we are in the service.  I figure, well, ok, I can live with missing the service – but I sure would love to just have some quiet space to contemplate and pray.  I am missing the sacredness of the experience. A little after 10pm, my mother whispers that they just started the regular mass, and I realize we probably have another 45 minutes to go – mass takes a while with all these people.  I just can’t do it anymore and I leave and head for our pension.  I feel so relieved to be away from the group and walking back towards our pension, I say my own silent prayers in celebration of Easter.

Coming Monday: Day 7 in Medjugorje: Easter Surrender on Crucifix Mountain; Dialogue with Mary; and a Fat Lasagna.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights! Post a comment here or email Sonya@illuminatedwisdom.com.